a place holder for now
Something really fucking insane happened a few days ago - and i've been marinating how to write about it.
#4 has lost his power in Hollywood and now i feel like i can actually fucking write 110% what ever i want (as in - THE REAL STORY). He has had mentions in all kinds of trades, and all of them have been similar, making me wonder how many reporters just summarized the same press release for the sake of coverage.
I am aware that many people in LA are reading this blog, and, i have friends in high places. Just because i'm currently a broke disabled artist doesn't mean people do not still like me. I have a lot of people reaching out to me, almost daily (i'm not always on grid), to tell me NEW and OLD abuse stories in Ontario Film and elsewhere.
I do have to keep in mind that #4 has a family and i actually do not fucking hate the man, i'm afraid of him. He actually is THE ONLY PRODUCER I'M AFRAID OF. I've worked with an ASS TON OF PRODUCERS.
It's such a weird fucking feeling. If i saw him somewhere, i would speak to him, especially in public. The last time i saw him was in the 30 Booth parking lot in Toronto (he was shooting another film in Toronto at the time, he lives in LA), and he was with his son, and i asked his son how he liked Toronto and he told me he hated it (he was 5 yrs old - and to be honest - LA is cooler than Toronto on most days, especially when you are 5 yrs old and your dad is a movie producer working on location in Toronto for a few yrs, and you are home with mom in LA.) I remember laughing really hard, and #4 was embarrassed that his son had said this. (i believe he blushed a bit - and i knew him well enough to notice this emotion, as he was usually either: FUNNY or ANGRY or TERRIFYING in the office.)
That's why i cannot hate him. Because underneath his tough fucking ruthless trained-by-the-worst exterior at the office, he is a real human underneath it.
And i'm aware of how much he loves his children.
That time when i ran into him, i froze and was awkwardly trying to avoid him (i was there to see my ex at the time, who was working in the same studio). It was him who said: "Hi Heather, do you want to meet my son?" He started the conversation. It was a weird power dynamic as i'd only been a PA on his show, so this moment i felt as important as he always acted - because he was so powerful, and that he recognized me and i was "worthy" enough to talk to. I wasn't working at the time bc i was in the middle of turning down PA positions and holding out for an APC or secretary job as i'd just joined IATSE 411. I had turned down the job on his show bc i could not work in the same office as him, and i was not allowed to be the director's assistant bc i was a girl (his then wife veto'd him having any female assistants, i googled him last night and i'm happy to say he's married to another lady now, and he is a great man). I would of taken the director's assistant job, or a job in the art dept, bc i wouldn't of had to report to #4 at all. If i was a PA, i'd have to drive him places potentially, and do things for him. After 6 mths of shitting my pants working for him before this, there was no fucking way i'd do it again.
That being said: i'm 110% sure #4 would of fucked me if i returned his advances on the show i met him on. No fucking doubts at all. He hit on me and my friends enough times for me NOT to doubt this at all. He always gave me the fucking heebeejeebies. ALWAYS.
I do not trust him at all. But i still do not hate him.
I'm sitting here right now wondering what i would of done if i was more physically attracted to him, and my guts still boil. Physical attraction could not out weigh his terrifying outbursts in our office and on set. I go by that silly saying: "Pretty until they open their mouth". Many dudes have ruined my initially superficial attraction for them with just a few words of nonsense. And some are just down right creepy when you get to know them, or they think women are gifts that they can pluck when ever THEY want to.
#4 always made me feel like it was his RIGHT to be harassing to female staff on this studio film. I wonder where he learned THAT from.
I'm also aware of at least $10,000 in production money, in cash, that was spent on cocaine and whores. In pre-production. In Toronto.
Oh film. I'm so proud that you have grown up and the world is figuring you out, for all us folks that would like to work with out abuse.
Took me witnessing my business partner being attacked on a government funded project, and being FIRED for reporting it, to get me to really start speaking up.
And it took HW falling for me to start talking about all of it on the internet.
There is more to come. Stand by. It will be released when it is. Thanks for reading my drivel ;)
#4 has lost his power in Hollywood and now i feel like i can actually fucking write 110% what ever i want (as in - THE REAL STORY). He has had mentions in all kinds of trades, and all of them have been similar, making me wonder how many reporters just summarized the same press release for the sake of coverage.
I am aware that many people in LA are reading this blog, and, i have friends in high places. Just because i'm currently a broke disabled artist doesn't mean people do not still like me. I have a lot of people reaching out to me, almost daily (i'm not always on grid), to tell me NEW and OLD abuse stories in Ontario Film and elsewhere.
I do have to keep in mind that #4 has a family and i actually do not fucking hate the man, i'm afraid of him. He actually is THE ONLY PRODUCER I'M AFRAID OF. I've worked with an ASS TON OF PRODUCERS.
It's such a weird fucking feeling. If i saw him somewhere, i would speak to him, especially in public. The last time i saw him was in the 30 Booth parking lot in Toronto (he was shooting another film in Toronto at the time, he lives in LA), and he was with his son, and i asked his son how he liked Toronto and he told me he hated it (he was 5 yrs old - and to be honest - LA is cooler than Toronto on most days, especially when you are 5 yrs old and your dad is a movie producer working on location in Toronto for a few yrs, and you are home with mom in LA.) I remember laughing really hard, and #4 was embarrassed that his son had said this. (i believe he blushed a bit - and i knew him well enough to notice this emotion, as he was usually either: FUNNY or ANGRY or TERRIFYING in the office.)
That's why i cannot hate him. Because underneath his tough fucking ruthless trained-by-the-worst exterior at the office, he is a real human underneath it.
And i'm aware of how much he loves his children.
That time when i ran into him, i froze and was awkwardly trying to avoid him (i was there to see my ex at the time, who was working in the same studio). It was him who said: "Hi Heather, do you want to meet my son?" He started the conversation. It was a weird power dynamic as i'd only been a PA on his show, so this moment i felt as important as he always acted - because he was so powerful, and that he recognized me and i was "worthy" enough to talk to. I wasn't working at the time bc i was in the middle of turning down PA positions and holding out for an APC or secretary job as i'd just joined IATSE 411. I had turned down the job on his show bc i could not work in the same office as him, and i was not allowed to be the director's assistant bc i was a girl (his then wife veto'd him having any female assistants, i googled him last night and i'm happy to say he's married to another lady now, and he is a great man). I would of taken the director's assistant job, or a job in the art dept, bc i wouldn't of had to report to #4 at all. If i was a PA, i'd have to drive him places potentially, and do things for him. After 6 mths of shitting my pants working for him before this, there was no fucking way i'd do it again.
That being said: i'm 110% sure #4 would of fucked me if i returned his advances on the show i met him on. No fucking doubts at all. He hit on me and my friends enough times for me NOT to doubt this at all. He always gave me the fucking heebeejeebies. ALWAYS.
I do not trust him at all. But i still do not hate him.
I'm sitting here right now wondering what i would of done if i was more physically attracted to him, and my guts still boil. Physical attraction could not out weigh his terrifying outbursts in our office and on set. I go by that silly saying: "Pretty until they open their mouth". Many dudes have ruined my initially superficial attraction for them with just a few words of nonsense. And some are just down right creepy when you get to know them, or they think women are gifts that they can pluck when ever THEY want to.
#4 always made me feel like it was his RIGHT to be harassing to female staff on this studio film. I wonder where he learned THAT from.
I'm also aware of at least $10,000 in production money, in cash, that was spent on cocaine and whores. In pre-production. In Toronto.
Oh film. I'm so proud that you have grown up and the world is figuring you out, for all us folks that would like to work with out abuse.
Took me witnessing my business partner being attacked on a government funded project, and being FIRED for reporting it, to get me to really start speaking up.
And it took HW falling for me to start talking about all of it on the internet.
There is more to come. Stand by. It will be released when it is. Thanks for reading my drivel ;)
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